plz talk dirty to me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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