Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think my moral compass just broke
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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