either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
