Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
