oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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