As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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