I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
