I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
