who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
