Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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