I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
