We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am naked and annoyed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
