I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
