Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
