I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
