why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
