If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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