It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
