I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
