I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
