we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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