can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
