Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
