in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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