I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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