Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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