she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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