ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
