waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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