i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
