Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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