good thing vaginas are great cup holders
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
