I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
