She's JV to your varsity
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
