Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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