I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
