Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
