Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
