Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
