My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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