you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
