I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
