You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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