I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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