sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
