I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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