I'm jealous of your bromance
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
