We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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