ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
