Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I checked into jail on foursquare
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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